you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
