Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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