She said her name was "party"
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
