addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
