Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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