are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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