yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
