so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize