Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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