Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
