speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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