I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just want nice things and good sex
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
