the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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