We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
