How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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