I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
