He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
