I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
