Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
