You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You need a sexual gate keeper
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
