Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
