I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
