I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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