I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
