You made me cry and you don't even care
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
