i barfeds in our rink
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
