how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
