I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
