i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
