end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
