Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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