I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
