Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
