I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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