no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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