Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
