Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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