A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Naked. naked and bneed help.
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