Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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