I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
