I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
