It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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