this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
