I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
