You can't special order awesome
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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