did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
