WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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