Redeem this text for a blowjob
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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