Non-Jews are for practice
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
