HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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