Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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