this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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