Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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