I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
