i was rollin on her like bob the builder
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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