i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
