In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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