come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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