facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
